Pseudonymous Ramblings by Psychobunny

Absurdities

After both studying and kicking major final heinie, I found during my reinforcement time this irresistible link to an article in The Onion about a "new 'anti-abortion pill'" via I Blame the Patriarchy. Yes, it's satire. But I promised more scientific content on this blog, and scrutinizing this article will allow me to provide it.

First, this drug would never be approved by the FDA, even with the patriarchal wingnuts we currently have running the country (at least I hope it wouldn't happen).

And second, details in the article reveal a basic lack of understanding of both biology and basic drug mechanisms. The picture caption says, "A doctor explains to an expectant mother how her organs will slowly dissolve with the new pill." Then the article claims:

The orally ingested drug first tests for the presence of a fetus. If the outcome is positive, a near-lethal dose of barbiturates is released, which induces a coma in the expectant mother until the child is born, at which point a second, fatal dose is released.

But barbiturates are a sedative-hypnotic. They'll relax you, they'll put you to sleep, they'll depress your respiratory system and kill you when taken in large enough doses or when mixed with alcohol or another sedative-hypnotic, but they will not liquefy your organs. Let us not forget that the uterus and placenta are organs as well--organs the fetus needs in order to survive--and if they dissolved, it would be goodbye, fetus. Additionally, not only does the fetus require the healthy, functioning organs of the pregnant woman to survive, but also, this drug, if a barbiturate as claimed, would actually severely harm or kill the fetus before it would the woman! Why? Because barbiturates are metabolized via liver microsomal enzymes, and the pregnant woman, unlike the fetus, has a fully functioning liver that can metabolize the drug. Therefore, when the woman takes the drug and the "near-lethal dose of barbiturates is released", the drug would cross the placental barrier and the fetus would be unable to metabolize and excrete it quickly enough to avoid doing any harm.

The drug in the article cannot possibly work as claimed.

posted by Psychobunny at 2:25 PM