But the other two were so great!
Roommate #3 moved in today. The roommates need pseudonyms so I can write about them. I shall call them Tennis Roomie (roomie #1), Skinny Roomie (roomie #2), and Party Roomie (roomie #3) after each of their defining characteristics.Because I can't just come right out and say this to a person I've known all of four hours and I really need to get it out, I'm posting it here.
Note to Party Roomie
Yes, you do have a lot of nice things (I mean, your microwave is also a grill, for Pete's sake! How does that even work?) and your wealth has added a lot to an otherwise sparsely furnished apartment. And I understand you and your mom have a flair for decorating. But you cannot hang "for decoration only" towels on the only towel rack in the bathroom simply because they match the shower curtain your mother purchased. I am tempted to blow my nose on the back of them just out of spite.
You need to get your boxes out from in front of my door, as I am a large woman and hurdling is not my sport of choice. Please also recall that your stereo is right next to the head of my bed and kindly turn down the atrocious "music".
Candles are not allowed in university living quarters and they will likely be confiscated upon our first inspection. Alcohol is also not allowed on university property, and if you bring any here, I am likely to report you myself as it would give me great joy. In fact, your love of all things alcoholic is likely one very good reason why you are a 21-year-old second-time freshman. Well, that and the "I'm not going to buy my books until right before finals" speech you just gave right before you went out to--you guessed it--party.
Thank you. You may now go back to poisoning yourself with all that liquor.
posted by Psychobunny at
9:09 PM
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